Nursery Rhyme and Reason

I tend to kill things. Mainly plants (although, in all honesty, fish don't stand much of a chance either). The final numbers aren't in yet, but I think it breaks down something like this...

34- The number of plants I have purchased, named, and subsequently come to love.
33*- The number of plants I have somehow maimed, dismembered, or generally removed their will to live. (*this number is a bit sketchy, as I'm fairly certain the one remaining plant is either silk or on steroids).

Experts might say that, according to these numbers, I should feel nervous about the nanny position I just applied for. Hogwash! Certainly children are much easier to care for than your average houseplant. After all, they rarely wilt, and can tell you, with moderate accuracy, when it's time to be pruned or watered. Like I always say...why plant a seed, when it's so much easier to just raise someone else's.