Mayo-Nays
I hate mayonnaise. A lot. And because I really can't abide it, I often seriously question the sanity of those who can. In my opinion, most people can be divided into two groups. Those who hate mayonnaise. And Lunatics.
As a mayo-hater I live in fear. Ordering a sandwich is a stressful occasion, as somehow, "No mayo, please" is frequently interpreted to mean, "Oh, mayonnaise! How delightful! Please give me extra! In fact, why even bother with meat and cheese? Load me up!" The odds of this happening increase exponentially when the waitress is, in fact, a mayo-loving lunatic herself.
In response to this rising epidemic, I have launched an anti-mayo campaign designed to restore good taste and decency to the culinary arts. Please join me in my effort to make ordering a sandwich safe again. And remember, dear readers, if you were anti-something, I'd join your campaign.
As a mayo-hater I live in fear. Ordering a sandwich is a stressful occasion, as somehow, "No mayo, please" is frequently interpreted to mean, "Oh, mayonnaise! How delightful! Please give me extra! In fact, why even bother with meat and cheese? Load me up!" The odds of this happening increase exponentially when the waitress is, in fact, a mayo-loving lunatic herself.
In response to this rising epidemic, I have launched an anti-mayo campaign designed to restore good taste and decency to the culinary arts. Please join me in my effort to make ordering a sandwich safe again. And remember, dear readers, if you were anti-something, I'd join your campaign.
posted by jenn marsala at 9:40 PM
10 Comments:
I know where you live, Marsala. And, as you've so aptly pointed out, I am a lunatic. ...Do the math.
- Richard Hellmann
I think I know who 'anonymous' is, and can offer you protection from same. (At a fair market price).
- D
You know, I don't know what it is with you mayo haters. Why can't we just live in peace?
Sir Rogue,
I believe fair market price these days is approximately $2. Which I will gladly pay for your protect from anonymous. Unless, of course, I get to gaze upon her hotness before she does me in. Then all bets are off.
j
There is no mayo on the sandwiches at The Good Earth! You should expand your horizons, Ms. condiment-hater. By the way, this topic is totally not hot.
Another Mayo hater, I knew you were a smart woman... Lets start a I hate Mayo Club, maybe Guldens Mustard will sign us to do their commercials...
I hate it even more when they bring you a sandwich with mayo on it (after you've expressly oredered one with no mayo), and when you point this out, they take it in the back scrape a small amount of the over-abundant mayo off and return the same sandwich, mayo-soaked bread and all, back to you...
oh, um, sorry, apparently fellow mayo-hater here...
I have decided to publish a defense for us Mayo-YAYS. Mayo gets a bad wrap. It's made from oil and egg whites...oh wait! Did I say Egg?! Maybe you mayo haters are also against eggs. Admit it! I knew there had to be some sort of conspiracy to get such a bad piece of PR against mayo. Well, I'm not gonna take it anymore! There was a study that proved that eggs are our friends. I'm still waiting for the mayo study. Anyways, without mayo, there would be no tuna, no chicken-salad, no egg-salad, no turkey club sandwiches...What would Wendy's put on their burgers besides ketchup? Did you even think about Wendy's? Of course you didn't. I'll be coming back to scan for your apology.
I'm with tozzorific on this one - what is a sandwich without mayonaise? If they do away with mayonaise - they will have to do away with sandwiches too.
Tozzorific has some good points in his rather valid argument. I agree not because I am a "lunatic" but because I believe that there are just some sandwiches that are unable to be truly palleteable without mayonaise. Like the turkey club. That sandwich screams for mayo. And who doesn't like tuna? No one...thats who!
Check and mate.
Post a Comment
<< Home